The Shadow.

Two in the morning, tapping my feet to melancholic rhythms.
Feeling alone.
Flickering a cigarette.
Fighting with despondent energies.
Flattering myself with the thoughts of self-appraisal and drawing parallelism of my beauty with exquisite roses.
And then asking, "Why is it that he doesn't want me?"
The question echoed.
Reverberated within my hollow heart.
Searching for an answer that I had no balls to hear.
I being such a pussy distracted the inner voice, refracted it and converted it into a meaningless rejoice.
His shadow came to me, smiling with sympathy over my agony.
There he was, giving me warmth. But I had built a tower by then. Brick by verbal brick.
But it was so easy. So easy to conquer me.
Five minutes of his soothing voice, those three magical words which he didn't even mean were happiness in disguise.

 I sat there. Doing nothing to defend my walls.
Just wanted him to know how it is when your tower gets invaded.
How it is to feel when you are so vulnerable to something.
How it is to be on a one-way road.
How it is to live half a life.

The tower fell taking my feelings and morals with it. And the shadow disappeared.
Next day that shadow met me again.
He had cold,
What else do you get when you have ice inside your soul.

"How are you luv?", he asked with a crooked smile.
"I'm fine. Thankyou.", I said and my heart stopped for a while.


Written by Bhakti Dua